Reading through some of Proverbs this morning, I came across a verse that really struck me. Proverbs 12:20 “Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, but those who plan peace have joy.”
I often associate joy with suffering. One is a product of the other (if you allow it). James 1:2-4 and Romans 5:1-5 have been verses I have clung to throughout my life. When suffering comes alongside you, as a believer you have the opportunity to truly know joy and have the ability to rejoice in any circumstance.
But this verse in Proverbs enlightened my heart to another way the Lord provides joy to His people: through planning peace.
My husband and I are in separate beds tonight.
Don’t worry. It’s probably not what you think.
He is leading a trip to Quebec with some of his students. International borders separate us on this Valentine’s Day. And that’s ok.
Don’t get me wrong, of course I miss him. But not because of the day it is, but because of the man he is.
Two nights before Katherine was born, I wept. I sat in bed and just cried.
I will always remember the conversation that Spencer and I had. It was the last night just the two of us would spend in our home. The next day family would arrive and the following day we would have a child.
Life would never be the same.
I knew it was coming. I had almost ten months to prepare. But no preparation takes away that top of roller coaster feeling. Preparing doesn’t make that final moment before the leap any easier to handle.
October 16th, 2013 is a day Spencer and I will always remember and always praise God for getting us through.
I’ve been meaning to write this for awhile now…two months to be exact. But as you can imagine, life has been a bit hectic. I don’t think there is a way to put into words everything that has happened, especially emotionally, but I wanted to share at least a little bit of Katherine’s arrival for those who want to read about it.
Since we hit full term in this pregnancy, a bit of sadness comes with Monday’s appearance.
I know babies don’t come when it’s convenient. But if Katherine came over a weekend it just would have been so great.
My dad works out of state now and commutes home on the weekends. It is something my family has dealt with before, and although very hard they’ve always persevered.
So whenever a weekend approached, we hoped Katherine would come for several reasons. I think this past weekend was the hardest to watch come and go. Spencer had Friday and yesterday off from work. The weekend would have allowed siblings to not miss school. My dad was home and would have been able to come to Jackson when she arrived.
Family has always been something so very important to me. And especially growing up where we moved quite a bit and didn’t have our extended family around, our immediate family was everything. We always had each other no matter how circumstances changed or trials we encountered. So having family here for Katherine’s arrival is a big deal for me. My parents never lived close to their families as we were all born, so they had to fly in for births. And somehow it always worked out. I’m sure at some point we will live somewhere where we aren’t just a several hours drive from family. But for now, we are so family will be able to come and welcome our little girl into the world. Her arriving in the middle of the week might not be convenient and might mean some family members can’t be here, but we know we are blessed to live as close as we do to them so that at least some of them can come.
Yesterday marked a week overdue for us, and at our last appointment on Friday, the doctor said we would need to be induced on Wednesday if she hasn’t come yet. She isn’t here, so the plan is to be at the hospital tomorrow morning to get this process started. We have an appointment later today, so we’ll be updated a bit on how K is doing. And we know she could still come today, but it looks like we will be getting induced tomorrow. I’ve had a couple people ask why we didn’t want to be induced, and so here are a few short reasons: We are just more comfortable with the natural process; I can’t eat or drink after midnight tonight; I won’t be able to get out of bed much because of having to be monitored more; There is a higher chance of needing an epidural because of possible harder contractions; There is a higher chance for needing a c-section. We’ll see what happens!
We would have loved to have been able to go into labor naturally and spend as much time at home as possible before heading to the hospital. That way we could go to the hospital for the end of it and need less intervention. But we’ve said all along that we know things could go differently, and we will face whatever comes with joy. We know the Lord has heard the desires of our heart; He has listened to our prayers; He is trustworthy and faithful. He will walk with us through this journey, and we know He will bring Katherine into the world in the way that will bring Him the most glory. And we are blessed to have the doctors we do. We really do trust them.
So in the midst of many uncertainties and transitions, we live in gratitude. We have wonderful, God-fearing doctors. We live close to family that can come celebrate with us. We serve a faithful and good God. Life is about to change, but our God is constant. Life’s about to get a lot better; children are a gift from the Lord. And we already praise Him for ours.
October 7th is here, but our little girl is still content where she is.
And we remain content with whenever the Lord decides to deliver her into our arms.
Throughout this pregnancy, I’ve thought a lot about due dates and labor and delivery, as I’ve read countless articles and posts about it all. I remember reading one post early on that talked about how arbitrary due dates are, and doctors shouldn’t give you an actual date but rather “the first few weeks of October” or something of the sort. And I completely understand that. Due dates seem to add extra pressure as questions explode and anticipations are extra high as that EDD (estimated due date) approaches.
My thoughts are when your baby reaches full term, he or she doesn’t really come “early” or “late.” Once you’re full term, that baby can come anytime and be perfectly healthy. The little one will come when the Lord wills it and when he or she is ready. I’ve seen many articles stating that only 5% of babies are born on their actual due date. And 90% are born at some point within the two weeks before that day or two weeks after. Who is to say that those babies come early or late? Once they hit that point where they are good and ready for the outside world, that time they arrive is the perfect time that was predestined for them. Just because that little one makes a grand appearance before an estimated date or after, doesn’t really mean anything.
Frankly, every baby is different and every momma is different. No matter what your genetics are, the number of ways you try to naturally induce, or how prepared or unprepared you are, that baby will come at the perfect time, not early or late, but just right. You can be completely prepared, drink cups of raspberry leaf tea, go on tons of walks, sit on an exercise ball, do your squats, and eat all the pineapple you can and that baby will still come when the Lord says it’s time.
So while we wait for our little girl, we trust the Lord and we know His timing is perfect.
Katherine is probably just already being sweet and taking into consideration the schedules of family. She knows Spencer has his final for class tonight and knows that if she comes closer to the weekend it is easier for people to not have to miss school and work. Both Spencer and one of my sisters have fall break Friday and Monday, and my dad commutes home on the weekends, so maybe she is just being considerate and letting things fall into place. That’s what we’ll say at least :)
Of course we would have loved to have already met Katherine. But the Lord knows her birthday, and it hasn’t come yet. I definitely would have loved to have had her and no longer be pregnant, but I also could have guessed that we would see our due date come and go. My mom and I have joked about how things usually are quite crazy with me. Especially when it comes to medical stuff, I don’t usually fall into the average category. Things tend to be complicated or just a bit outlandish and all you can do is laugh about it (mostly after the fact). So I think we are both anxious to see how labor goes. And whether it starts tonight or next week, we know the Lord is good and faithful.
He will continue to sustain us through the rest of this pregnancy. Although there are just days left in it, once you reach those final, full-term weeks, the days and nights seem extra long. So until Katherine arrives, we will consider each moment joy. We will trust in the Lord. We will celebrate all the Lord is doing. We will live with gratitude.
After rearranging rooms and figuring out how to make all sorts of things work in Katherine’s room, we’ve finished! People might say it is thrown together or too eclectic, but when you’re on a tight budget you learn how to repurpose furniture and personalize in your own way. We got to figure it out together and had fun doing it. We just love how it all turned out! I already love sitting in there and praying for our little one.
We really are in the final countdown!
We are halfway through the 38th week of this pregnancy and simply cannot wait to meet our little girl!
I figured I’d better write at least one last update since our Katherine Elizabeth can come anytime. So here are some end of pregnancy thoughts.
It’s true! We are 32 weeks pregnant. Crazy, huh!? We are in month eight of this roller coaster ride.
And if I can be honest, I am so glad we are nearing the end of this.
Of course I am so very excited to meet our little girl. But I’m also quite excited to not be pregnant anymore.
Time really does fly by.
It has been a year since our wedding. Today, June 16th, we celebrate our one year anniversary!
There won’t be any lavish date planned, no fun outing to the park, no antique store hunting or spontaneous adventure. We are separated by an ocean and celebrating from afar today. If anything, this time apart allows us to dwell on how blessed we are to have each other and be on this crazy journey of life together.
Sarah loves Jesus and her family and is passionate about addressing the urgent spiritual and physical needs around the world. She is the wife of Spencer and mama of Katherine and Claire, and they live in Nashville, TN. She runs a photography business with her husband and writes in order to offer encouragement and invite others to choose grace, joy, and gratitude in the adventure and the mundane. She loves traveling and reading; she will choose unsweet tea over sweet and bootcut jeans over skinny; and she is all sorts of awkward with small talk but thrives with deep conversations.