My heart seemed to be in a constant state of heaviness and ache last month. June displayed the depravity of man and the fallen world in all aspects. Disease and death and destruction affect nations, communities, families, and individuals. Tragedy continues to strike around the globe. Intense hardships and trials invade our homes. Shootings, terrorist attacks, poverty, political craziness, cancer, pain, addictions, assaults of every kind run rampant.
And my mind cannot turn it all off. My heart cannot handle it all. Between the tragedies themselves and the endless noise of the news and opinions of everyone on social media, my mind constantly tries to sort through the noise and my heart constantly grieves. Part of it is how I process things and part of it is my introvertedness. Sleep evades me, sometimes due to pregnancy and sometimes due to my mind racing. I have learned I am someone who feels things deeply. And I am often overwhelmed by the weight of it all. But last month reminded me of the necessity of being in the Word. I cannot handle the weight of all the tragedies apart from the weight of the truth of the Word.
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6.16.12. A date filled with such beauty and joy; a date that displayed God's goodness and faithfulness; a date vividly showed me the gospel. June 16th, 2012, the day Spencer and I got married.
Spencer and I recently celebrated our four year wedding anniversary. The past four years have been filled with all sorts of experiences and emotions, joys and sorrows, routines and adventures. We've walked through hard valleys, laughed a whole lot, lived in three places, worked many different jobs, and grown to a family of four. Through it all we have grown tremendously, individually and as a couple, as we have trusted God and watched Him continually provide and continually show Himself to us. I could write for a long time about all the things I've learned in marriage so far. But as I reflected on the past four years, four main ideas stuck out to me. I decided to share them in hopes they will encourage you in your marriage, whether you're in the midst of it now or dream of it for the future. Father's Day is incredibly beautiful and incredibly needed. Fathers play such a crucial role as they nurture and love, provide and care for their families. They deserve to be celebrated, respected, appreciated. Father figures can come in many different forms: adoptive dad, uncle, mentor, foster dad, pastor, friend, cousin, stepdad, grandfather, father-in-law, expecting dad, and others. And today we cheer them all on and say, "Thank you."
But the reality is, today can be painful for many. Some are mourning what was and others are mourning what has never been. Some are grieving the loss of fathers and others are grieving the title they long for and have yet been given. Some are dealing with deep wounds from what they didn't have and others are dealing with deep wounds from what was taken from them. Some have simply gone numb and have given up hope that this day can be good and others feel intense pain when this day comes around. For whatever reason today is hard, know you are not alone. Know your pain and your grief and your heartache are real. Know you are not forgotten. Know you are loved. And know there is hope.
Annie F. Downs has been encouraging readers and pointing them to Jesus for several years now. So, I came a little late to the party because I just started reading her words this past month. I read two of her books, Let's All Be Brave and her latest book Looking for Lovely, and felt so connected to her and inspired by her authentic writing. Both books happened to be very timely for me but spoke to me in different ways. And both books beautifully display Annie's story and heart in different seasons of her life.
Annie invites readers into an intimate look at her life over the past few years, particularly inviting us into the hardships, struggles, and what she calls her "broken crazy." Although I wasn't quite sure what to expect in this book, the premise intrigued me. I always love stories of honest struggle that point to God's goodness and faithfulness, and Looking for Lovely is just that. At the end of 2015, I thought about the word I wanted to mark my 2016. I wanted a word for the year to lay claim to throughout and to refer back to on the discouraging days. And although that word was in clearly in front of me as 2016 approached, this is the first time I've announced it.
Uncertainties marched into 2015 with us, so my word for last year was able. I clung to the truths found in Ephesians 3:20-21, "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." We needed provision in every way--a job, a home, a church, friends, a car, furniture, community. All I could do, all we could do, was trust in the God who is able. We didn't know how He would provide, but we knew He would. And He did. In some ways it wasn't what we necessarily prayed for or wanted, but His provision is so good. I'll always look back to that year as a marker of my God who is able. So as 2016 approached, I wanted to lay claim to it. As we thought about our photography business and my writing career and making friends and building community, the word that kept coming to mind was courage. Last week our fridge decided to stop working. Every day it seemed to function less and less, and then it finally gave up. Thankfully, I had been putting off grocery shopping so we didn't have a stocked fridge or freezer. I'll be honest, it was hard to not worry (and continue to not worry) about how we would scrape a few hundred dollars together to get a new one. After searching around, we found an outlet store nearby that had one for a good price. And Spencer had a friend from work that offered to help him get it, so that saved his back and the extra delivery fee. But when those unexpected expenses come, I have to fight being anxious and worrying.
Although we found the least expensive one we could find, it was still a bit discouraging. And it's times like that, when finances seem to burden and cause anxiety that I lose sight of my Lord being provider. I have noticed Katherine getting anxious at certain times. And instead of telling her that I'll always be there, I have started to tell her Jesus will always be with us and take care of us. He will always be with her and take care of her. And I have had to remind myself of that. When the bank account runs lows and we steward what we've been given the best we can, I can still trust in the Lord's provision. I may not know exactly how he will provide, but I know He is good and trustworthy. What He says in Matthew 6:25-34, He means:
Do you want to live an abundant life filled with the Holy Spirit's power? Do you want to learn the keys to a sanctified life? Do you want help in the journey of spiritual growth?
Then Eric Mason's latest book, Unleashed, is for you. Mason looks deeply into the sanctification process in this book. He addresses the biblical components to growing as a follower of Christ. And he does so in a way that is approachable and gospel-centered and encouraging.
I had a goal to read 25 books last year. And I didn't quite make it. Which bums me out because I'm pretty competitive and like reaching goals. But I have to remind myself I read more than the year before and that was an accomplishment.
I learned that sometimes the journey towards the goal is just as important, if not more important, than reaching the goal itself. Who you become along the way, and what you learn along the way, is way more important than simply being able to say you got there. These are the books I read last year: I'm slightly embarrassed to admit this.
Last week I wrote down my goals for this year. Guys, it was the last week of April. It's May now. Writing down my goals has been on my to-do list since the end of 2015. And I just now did it. But I did it. And that's the lesson I learned from this. It is never too late to start.
Dr. Russell Moore's latest book, Onward, tackles the issues facing the church today in America and how to rightly respond. It is a perfectly timed message and a must-read. Onward is centered on the gospel and saturated in grace and fixed on truth.
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Sarah ConnatserSarah loves Jesus and her family and is passionate about addressing the urgent spiritual and physical needs around the world. She is the wife of Spencer and mama of Katherine and Claire, and they live in Nashville, TN. She runs a photography business with her husband and writes in order to offer encouragement and invite others to choose grace, joy, and gratitude in the adventure and the mundane. She loves traveling and reading; she will choose unsweet tea over sweet and bootcut jeans over skinny; and she is all sorts of awkward with small talk but thrives with deep conversations. |