The past few nights have been filled with restlessness. My sweet little Katherine is having awful teething pains. And as I'm up with her often throughout these nights, my heart and mind race with all the horrific things going on in the world. My heart has been so heavy.
This week was the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. And as abortion has become a prominent topic on Twitter, especially because of the sickening lack of care from Congress this week, my heart has been in mourning. I look at my little Katherine and think of those more than 57 million little ones killed in America alone since 1973. More than 57 million. Murdered. And it's not only accepted by society, but often encouraged. Oh Lord Jesus, forgive us. Forgive this land. There is an accepted genocide happening in this country, and it makes me weep, makes me sick to my stomach. But I am only one little person. What can I posibly do?
I started reading Christine Caine's Undaunted last night. Shaken to my core as she started off sharing terrifying stories of girls that had been rescued out of sex trafficking, my heart shattered inside of me. I look at my little Katherine and think of the more than 20 million people in slavery today, many of them young girls lured by the hope of a better future and then forced out of sweet innocence into things more brutal and horrifying than imaginable. More than 20 million. Enslaved and sex trafficked. And it's often overlooked in this country because of getting wrapped up in our own lives, our own stresses, our own insecurities. Ourselves. Selfishness blinds us to the plights of others. There are more people in slavery today than any time in history. That completely tears me up inside. But I am only one little person. What can I possibly do?
As Spencer and I dream for our family, we pray for our future kids. We wonder if any of the kids we will adopt have already been born. I look at my little Katherine and think of the millions of children without families and it breaks my heart. There are over 153 million orphans worldwide. There are over 400,000 children in the foster care system in the United States. More than 153 million. Orphaned and without forever families. I often wonder where is the Church in all of this? Where are the Jesus people who claim to take care of the least of these? I'm left confused as to why Bride of Christ hasn't risen up for her Groom and ended the orphan crisis. There are so many just longing for a forever family. But I am only one little person. What can I possibly do?
Through these long, restless nights my heart has traveled from grief to grief. Mourning. Wrestling. Questioning. The plights are many. There are still lost and unreached people groups dying without ever hearing the gospel, while many in this nation sit idly by wondering what the will of God is. There are people dying from hunger, thirst, and preventable diseases, while many in this nation live beyond lavishly and complain they don't have enough.
This is the nation where underinflated footballs are headline news.
Oh Lord, forgive us.
Now don't get my wrong, I'm very thankful I was born in and live in America. So very thankful. I have observed the spiritual darkness in Europe. I have seen extreme poverty in Haiti and the Dominican Republic. I have been in orphanages in Eastern Europe. I have glimpsed persecution in Israel. I am so very thankful to live in America. But my allegiance is to Jesus Christ alone. My allegiance is not to this country or its flag.
So when this country does things that defame my God or sit idly by while severe oppression and injustices happen around it, it only makes sense that I'm going to have restless nights. Sometimes it feels so overwhelming. All these things going on are so big. And it makes me feel so little. And I am. So what can I possibly do? I am only one little person. But my God is big. Bigger than all this craziness. And so my hope, my faith, my trust is in Him. And as I figure out my calling, figure out my ministry I'm gonna start praying boldly. I'm learning to turn these restless nights into bold prayers. These may be big prayers, but my God is big.
So as one little person it may not seem like I can make a dent in any of these major injustices, but I can start by praying boldly about them. And then I can start by turning my one little life into one that will affect another little life for the glory of God. Instead of being daunted by the huge numbers, I can choose to look at them and see one person that I can share the love of Christ with. My one little life can make the difference in the life of just one. Because that one other life matters. I don't necessarily know what that looks like, but I know it means living more like Jesus, being uncomfortable at times, living each day intentionally for the glory and fame of Jesus. I don't have all the answers, but I know when my heart is overwhelmed I can go to the One who holds the world in His hands.
I am praying boldly, knowing my God is a whole lot bigger than each of these things:
May this be the generation that puts a stop to the genocide of abortion.
May this be the generation that ends sex trafficking and slavery.
May this be the generation that forces the pornography industry to no longer exist.
May this be the generation that brings about racial reconciliation.
May this be the generation that stirs up a revival in this country.
May this be the generation that ends extreme poverty.
May this be the generation that reaches the unreached people groups with the gospel.
May this be the generation that truly cares for orphans enough to end the orphan crisis.
May this be the generation that lifts high the name of Jesus and brings Him alone glory and fame.
May it be so, Lord.
Sarah loves Jesus and her family and is passionate about addressing the urgent spiritual and physical needs around the world. She is the wife of Spencer and mama of Katherine and Claire, and they live in Nashville, TN. She runs a photography business with her husband and writes in order to offer encouragement and invite others to choose grace, joy, and gratitude in the adventure and the mundane. She loves traveling and reading; she will choose unsweet tea over sweet and bootcut jeans over skinny; and she is all sorts of awkward with small talk but thrives with deep conversations.